I’ve become known for “Shaking the Tree” this time of year. This is when I get really quiet and reflect upon the past 365 days.
Did I treat others the way they deserve?
Did I show my family how much I love them?
Was I a good husband?
Did I show my coworkers the respect and support they deserve?
Did I learn anything new that has helped me become a better person?
Was I accepting, loving and kind?
Was I kind to myself?
This is just a sample of the line of questioning I put myself through. It can be hell. Being 100% honest with yourself is always a brutal exercise. My inspiration for this are the people I see who lie to themselves everyday. I don’t want to be like them. To me that’s much more painful than facing fifty or so questions alone in a candlelit room where the end goal is happiness for myself and those around me.
I take everything into consideration. If my relationship with someone is one-sided (Me being the person who always reaches out) then it’s time to give that person the boot. Same goes for all people who beat me down on a regular basis with all their drama and negativity. It doesn’t matter if it’s a family member, a lover or a co-worker. There’s no announcement. They don’t even notice I’ve moved on. No conflict. Pow! One less thing for me to be concerned with.
This year I’m choosing to carry this over to another necessary part of my life, social media. I share and if you’re there to trash me, I will send you some love and then block your ass. This will take the power of a thousand men, but I’m going to do it. Because of my experience in stand-up comedy and my morning radio show (Not Terry Jaymes Alive) my first reaction has been to treat mean-spirited people like hecklers. Bitch slap them back with some well crafted verbiage. It can be fun as the adrenaline kicks in as I dig deep to hurt some assholes feelings. But what good does that do really? I’ve just wasted time and energy on someone who really is of no consequence.
I feel a tad hypocritical here because doing things for others unconditionally is a big part of who I am. I love it. But I make an exception when it comes to people who interfere with my growing as a person.
Shaking the tree to where only the strong leaves stay in my life is really empowering and I would suggest anybody who still has goals and dreams do it.
But there’s something even more powerful.
It’s not all about subtraction. To live a full life you have to add. Getting rid of the dead weight creates vast openings in our lives. We now have the ability to experience new things. The stuff we’ve always wanted to do. The stuff our spirit has been screaming at us to do. It could be travel, yoga or taking a class in something we’ve always been interested in. In doing so we bring new people into our lives who are closer aligned to who we really are. It’s an incredible feeling to speak the same language without ever opening your mouth. Your life becomes brighter. The sky’s open up. Things smell different. You stand taller. The shift is so dramatic it can literally knock you off your feet.
So steady your balance and give this a shot. While you’re doing this, block off some quiet time everyday and take note to the messages you’re now receiving. Don’t let them scare you. This is the real you. Be strong though this process. This is who you really are and who you’ve always imagined yourself to be.
God I love you guys.
Happy New Year and lets keep an open dialogue while we’re out there creating magic!
PS. I mentioned that one of the questions I’m asking is, “Was I kind to myself?” – Tune into the first Terry Jaymes Alive show of 2016 to find out.